What type of Prison have you put yourself in?
by Katie Souza
(Taken from Katie’s Journal written in Prison 2001)
“As we know Jesus better, His divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive His own glory and goodness!” 2 Peter 1:3 (NLV)
Today I walked 3 miles, waxed the floor, had vocal exercise, and went to drug class. It’s Rosie’s birthday!
At 12:30 p.m. prayer meeting we found the floor scratched so bad, and then the floors in our unit were also scratched. Carol freaked and blamed Hulda. This was a demonic attack! If Satan can’t attack the floor crew people (because the floor crew is finally getting along), he will attack things or objects like the floor! I’m on to you devil! In my Jesus class, Mr. M is my spiritual partner. We looked at James 1 today. We were talking about my mom and why we had not received any direction about mom from God.
Today at 12:30 church, Shirley came in place of Pastor’s Roy and Ethel. She seemed so nervous and lost, but in the end, she laid hands on us one by one. She’s a prophet and she told Rosie to release wisdom and knowledge. She prayed that the Lord would anoint my voice – sanctify it for His use. She didn’t even know that I’m in the choir or that I’m going to sing on the 4th of July. She prayed that Sherrie would have a spirit of boldness. She prayed the same thing on Ms. L and said, “I have not forgotten you. You are doing the right stuff.” We all got Holy laughter…I said, “Here it comes!”
Yesterday I had a good conversation with Ms. V. Wow, God honors our prayers. I pray for favor from the Lord with her and everyone! We sang Closer to the Heart of God two times. At 6 p.m. church, I started to weep when they read Ephesians 6:10-20. Why? I believe the Lord was pouring out his anointing on me to sing. Now I have to overcome when it comes to Hulda and Agnes! Lord, help! Hulda leaves service lukewarm; it’s getting hard to help her. Tonight, I did everybody’s homework. I rubbed Hannah’s feet. As I did, I prayed for the choir, not just selfishly for my own voice. I felt God looking at me and saying, “Don’t underestimate what I want to do for you.”
At 2:00 a.m. I was praying about Jessie. Right as I was falling asleep I got, “9 months”. I said, “Why 9 months Lord?” The answer was, “She has to put in her ten years.” Saturday, she got the news that her brother’s appeal “cut her off at the legs” according to her lawyer. So, I figured that April 12th is her out date.
Tonight, at choir practice, the tapes disappeared for the Fourth of July! Then Donna, Magdalene, and Mr. M turned and asked me why Satan didn’t want me to sing on the fourth? I almost quit the choir.
“Why do you fight and argue with each other? Isn’t it because you are full of selfish desires that fight to control your body?” James 4:1 (GNT)
I got a new tape with my song on it.
God is teaching me that a blueprint is a very complex exact thing. God is exact and He is showing me how to read the complex blueprint.
“You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.” James 4:2 (GNT)
Today I went to work, then to practice with Missy from 1:30-3:00 p.m. After the meeting I buffed. They called me into the laundry for a job. They said I could go to all the prayer meetings if I took it. I spoke to Mr. B, and he said I should stick it out in the kitchen. Later TOP OF THE YARD, Mr. H, said he was going to chew out Mr. B for trying to steal me. He said, “You are my floor girl!”
“And when you ask, you do not receive it, because your motives are bad; you ask for things to use for your own pleasures.” James 4:3 (GNT)
I sang Closer to the Heart of God (Nicol Smith Sponberg). Everybody says that I’m the next Janis Joplin. Lord, I don’t want that. I want a Christian comparison, not a worldly comparison.
I stopped to talk with sister Jessie and I asked her how long she has been here in years and months. She told me she had been in 9 years and 3 months. If you add 9 months to that, it’s the 10 years she needs to put in! Praise God! I wept. She said from the beginning, she told everyone 10 years instead of natural life, so they could handle it!
Being incarcerated brought its daily challenges, but it also brought many victories and life lessons learned.
Can you think of a way you are in a type of a prison?
Are you struggling with your health, finances, or relationships?
What are you doing right now to learn, grow, and change in the hard place that you are in?
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