Totally in Control

A few weeks ago I decided I was really lacking the fruit of the Spirit in my life, so I began a journey of taking 9 months to really focus solely on the fruit and experiencing it in my daily life. This week I was focusing on peace, asking the Lord what resources He wanted to use to reveal His peace to me. He said, “Katie Souza’s deliverance of Legion.” I listened to it and as you were praying, I could feel two angels, one on either side of my brain, touching it. I felt peace overwhelm me, so I thanked the Lord and went about my evening. I went on a walk later and as I was walking I felt something different. I tuned in to see what had changed, and I realized that as far back as I can remember, probably 25-30 years, I have had a constant, unceasing feeling of pressure that there was something I wasn’t getting done that was urgent. I’m trying to explain it but it’s been happening so long it started to become a part of my personality and I don’t know how to put it into words. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to relax, ever. If I relaxed my world would come crashing down and something bad would happen, so sort of like carrying the weight of the world. It was so miserable I tried everything over the years to escape it including alcohol, marijuana, excessive television to zone out, binge eating, etc. So yesterday as I paid attention to what was happening after your video, I realized, “Lord, for the first time I don’t feel like there’s anything that needs to get done!” It was brand new. I felt totally in control and had no problems relaxing and enjoying my evening walk!! I had a couple incidents this morning where I experienced the beginning of feelings of rejection and the voice tried to come back and tell me not to rest, that there were things I needed to do to take care of the perceived rejection, but I had that experience of peace to go back to, and I rejected those thoughts and maintained my peace!  -A. K.

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