Devotional Reflections: Time to Bring that Wall Down

Time to Bring that Wall Down

Time to Bring that Wall Down

By Ellie Moussalli

 

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.”
Psalm 34:18 (MSG)

 

“God, I need Andrea! Please, please send Andrea!”

 

Tears were streaming down my face as my heart flooded with fear and pain. I felt spiritually exposed – vulnerable to a degree I hadn’t felt in a very long time. All I wanted was to be held by trusted friends and mamas.

 

It was a heart-wrenching encounter with God that I knew was coming. You know what I mean? When you feel Him touching a pressure point that you weren’t expecting to feel pain. Only in my case, I felt numb – like when you’ve been sitting on your leg for too long and it falls asleep.

 

I was staffing a six-week media-intensive school with a ministry in Los Angeles, for the second time in 2018. We were training people from around the world in three designated areas of the entertainment industry; film, acting, and music.

 

All of us on the team were running back and forth for supplies, sitting on the floor of the admin room figuring out tuition payments and budgeting the finances for special parties like a Fourth of July BBQ, and coordinating car rides for the film track student projects. Then adding in the ministry aspect, sometimes leading students through deliverance… it was a lot for all of us. Though I was able to keep up in the beginning, by week four, I had reached a mental and spiritual limit.

 

One day, I was taking photos during a morning worship session and paused to receive from the Holy Spirit. Slowly I began sharing my heart more and more. “I know that my capacity to give to these students isn’t big enough and I don’t know what I need to do to change that.” I instantly saw a picture of a small river that flowed from the bottom of a dam. I then heard God whisper, “I want to give you more. But you have to lower that wall first.”

 

It was a wall of isolation that I happily labeled self-reliant. “I can do it myself, so I will. I can handle this problem alone. Sure my family went through a traumatic experience a few months ago, but I’m ok. I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t need to. Moving on!”

 

Not two minutes passed when the worship leader gave a word of knowledge, confirming what God had just spoken to me. That was when I whispered a vulnerable prayer, “I need these walls that I’ve built to come down. I can’t do this alone. Would you help me bring them down just a little bit more, Jesus? I have to have more of you. I can’t do this alone.”

 

As I began reflecting on the things that had happened the previous year, I also allowed Jesus to comfort me. The more I let Him in, the more I cried. That circulation I had been restricting for so long was beginning to flow again. Like a leg that’s fallen asleep, when it starts to wake up, there’s pain before you can walk on it. I laid down on a row of chairs, silently wept as He performed heart surgery, as I begged him to send Andrea.

 

She was a pastoral leader in the school and is one of my dearest friends. We joke together about being on the same prophetic frequency when it comes to being at the right place for each other and having the right word to share. This was one of those moments. She was on the other side of the room when the Holy Spirit told her to find me and when she did, she simply held me and prayed.

 

God designed us to have a great capacity to give and receive. He made our bodies physical temples where the Holy Spirit dwells! And yet we weren’t designed to be alone.

 

What areas of your heart have you put up walls between you and others? Between you and God? Are you willing to bring them down today, even just a little bit?

Comments (8)
Diana B
Posted at 16:42h, 17 May Reply

Lord please release me from this prison help me to put complete trust in you and be obedient to your will and honor

Ngina
Posted at 07:05h, 06 May Reply

Very touching. Its true we are not designed to be alone. I keep asking God, why am I alone? Will I always be alone? My kids are grown n on their own. They dont need me and dont care about me. Part of the "me" generation we have raised. Am retired, no close church family. Perhaps I have built a wall, out of necessity. Years of trauma wounded my soul and most relationships result in rejection. Thanks to Katie am getting my soul healed. How long will it take? Maybe then God will send a friend my way like Ellie has. I look to God in hope n faith.

Leah
Posted at 00:26h, 30 April Reply

Walls please come down I can’t do this alone

Silvia Barraza
Posted at 23:59h, 29 April Reply

This is my first time reading a story filled with Holy Spirit. I asked Jesus to let down my walls. And as I got to the part where they embraced and cried and prayed, Holy Spirit touched my heart and I just let go of my wall and bawled. There's no barrier of space and time for the Lord Holy Spirit. Thank you for sharing this with me. I feel alot lighter now. This is just what I needed !! God bless!! Keep them coming!!

Tara Moore
Posted at 19:44h, 29 April Reply

Very good, hit the spot, needed to hear this.

Hollie
Posted at 19:35h, 29 April Reply

Wow! Thank you for your words about walls up. For saying we are not "designed to be alone." Thank you for making me aware of the walls in my heart today. I don't know specifically what the walls are, but now I can pray about releasing them.

Linda Sedillo
Posted at 18:50h, 29 April Reply

I have been praying for a Godly husband for 24 years and nothing. I listen to as many of your teaching I can get ahold of. Do I have a wall up and not know it.

Kandace Pullin
Posted at 18:03h, 29 April Reply

Glory to God, Ellie for your vulnerability!! What a blessing to lay yourself down to our Father through Christ Jesus blood to receive His fiery love through The Holy Spirit . What a blessing to be so LOVED! Glory to God for trusting Him! Glory to God for trusting Jesus! God is good! Thank you for glorifying Abba Father through that we are formed in the image and likeness of. I receive the message from the Lord through The Holy Spirit that needed to be received as He requires walls to come down in my heart too. In Jesus name, I declare and decree for mine and all His children’s hearts to be open to receive His LOVE . God and Jesus I trust You. Glory Abba Father that You are intertwined with us as Jesus asked You to do. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen. 🌻🌻🌻

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