Oh My Gosh, I Did It Again!

Lesson 5

The Aftermath of Trauma and Sin

Last week, you learned sin and trauma can wound your soul. Now, what can the wounds created by sin and trauma do to you? Plenty!

They can control you. They can make you sin, according to Paul. In Romans 7:20, he wrote, “Now if I do what I do not desire to do, it is no longer I doing it. It is not myself that acts, but it’s the sin principle which dwells within me fixed and operating in my soul.”

He is saying, “Look, I’m doing things I don’t want to do because of the junk that’s in my trunk.” (Katie Souza channeling Apostle Paul, by the way.)

The last thing Paul wanted was to sin, but something controlled him. It made him do things he didn’t want to do. Wounds in your soul do that. They control you. They cause you to sin and there is only so much you can do to control it. You can suck it in and focus and try with all your strength not to snap. And then, you snap anyway.

Can you think of a time you’ve repeatedly yelled at your husband or your kids or you’ve done something else you know you should not have done? Or, you exploded on someone like the kid behind the counter because you explicitly said “no mayonnaise on the sandwich” and it came with mayonnaise anyway and, good grief, doesn’t anyone care about customer service or doing a good job anymore and why do I have to say the same thing over and over am I speaking in Chinese and, really Lord, am I the only kind and considerate Christian left on EARTH?!! (Stopping to take a breath.)

Then, you realize, oh no, I did it again.

“I’m so sorry. I promise, Lord, I’m going to do my best not to yell at people again and help me, God, help me to stop. This time I mean it. No, I know I said that yesterday, but this is a new day and today I am going to conquer this thing. I am a new creature. In You, I can do all things. Thinking good thoughts. Thinking good things. It is off with the old, and on with the new. I can do this. I can…….do……this.

What?! You did WHAT?!!

And, without warning, like Linda Blair in The Exorcists, you find yourself vomiting pea soup on peeps, your head spinning around and around. Afterwards, remorse kicks in and there you sit, thinking, “Oh my gosh, I did it again!”

What is that? Why can’t you stop doing stuff you don’t want to do? It’s what Paul said, “I’m doing the thing I don’t want to do because of sin nature fixed and operating in my soul.”

We behave this way because we’re controlled by what’s in our souls. The wounds in our souls control us. They drive people to drink or to go back to it even after they’ve broken free. They drive people back to drugs when they’ve lived clean for years. The wounds drive people back to pornography, even though they’ve tried desperately to get out of it.

Paul explained the trap of sinful habits. People try with all their strength and they pray and they believe and they feel deep remorse every time they fail, only to fail all over again.

Take pornography as an example. Someone, a Christian, is drawn to it. They don’t want to watch it. They want to be free of it, but they just can’t seem to hold the line. They repent. They renew their resolve. They can be strong for a couple of weeks or three and then, all of a sudden, there they are again. What is going on? Why can’t they break out of the cycle?

Because the first time they looked at pornography, the sin of that action wounded their soul. That wound is still in there. It controls them. They repent and ask God for help but they don’t know there’s another step they need.

Next week I will give you that step. Big love, KS