Healed and Free

The Holy Spirit led me to start a study on the soul about 2 years ago. For whatever reason, I set it aside and moved on to other things, but I knew the Father wanted to give me revelation on it. At the beginning of the year I was watching some old Sid Roth videos on YouTube and found a recording of Katie Souza ministering on the soul. I filed it away. One day, I was searching YouTube for supernatural weight loss and there you were again. I decided that maybe there was something to this. I found the Healing Your Soul program and began watching it every morning while getting ready for work. I felt I had finally made the connection. This is where the Lord was taking me…healing my soul. There are 2 miraculous things that have happened to me as a result that I’d like to share.
The first event happened one Saturday morning in May after having listened to HYS for weeks. I was lying in bed and decided that I would watch a movie. It was a really sweet movie. There was a scene with a couple that had been married for 50 years and you could see their affection for each other. They had never had a real wedding and were planning it. As they embraced, I said out of my mouth: “I’m never going to have that.” I was overwhelmed with the feelings of grief and I began to weep. I heard the Holy Spirit say and continue to say, “I want to talk to you about this.” I told Him that I didn’t want to talk to Him about it because it was too painful. You see, I have been divorced for most of my life – more than 22 years. My ex-husband and I were in the ministry and he left me for another woman. It was messy and painful and my son and I were casualties of a lot of hurt and wounds. I forgave my ex-husband and taught my son to do the same.

As a minister of the gospel, I believed that God was calling me to be single. I had embraced that lifestyle. However, over time I would have deep longings to be married again. I would struggle through it and get back on an even keel believing that I was fighting a fleshly desire. Sometime last year, I began to ask the Lord about being single and if it was truly His will for me or was there something else going on. He never really answered…or so I thought. Now, here I was lying in bed on a Saturday weeping like I’d lost my best friend and God was wanting to talk to me about it and I just couldn’t. I turned over on my side and told the Lord I was going to sleep and didn’t want to talk about it. Throughout the day I heard Him in my heart say, “I want to talk to you about this.”
That next week, I had to drive to Rochester, NY to see my twin sister. I said, “Ok, Lord. I’ve got 14 hours of time. I’m ready.” I began listening to the soul series I had recorded on my phone. After a few hours of listening and walking through the process, the Lord took me back to my first relationship – my first love. A lot happened with that and there isn’t enough room to tell it. Suffice it to say, we were in love, but he cheated. Although, I know he deeply regretted it, it took me years to actually forgive it. The Lord began to show me that the pain I experienced through that relationship (that although it wasn’t physical) it was something that deeply wounded my soul. I judged all other men by it. I drew a man who was not faithful to me in marriage. I realized that I even after I had forgiven my first love, there was still a gaping wound in my soul. The Lord showed me that in the 22 years that I had been divorced I had hidden behind Him, the call of God and the work of ministry. How noble to hide behind something that appeared to be spiritual. My wounded soul was “protecting me” from trusting a man. I gained weight to hide from being hurt again. As I applied the blood and released God’s power (the dunamis, wonder-working power of God) into the wound, I wept and wept and wept like I was being released from prison. I prayed in the Spirit for about an hour as I drove. All of a sudden, I felt that I had to stop and use the restroom. It was immediate and I knew that if I didn’t go, I would have an accident. (This is going to get a little graphic, but this is what happened.) I pulled over and nearly jumped out of my car and ran to the bathroom. I nearly fell over backwards. The first thing that I do when going to a public bathroom is check the seat and look for a toilet cover. There was nothing on the seat and there were no toilet covers. So, I knew I would be squatting. After urinating, I turned around and there on the toilet seat was a white oblong mass that had dropped out of me. It is difficult to describe, but I knew it came out of me because there was nothing there before. I do not know what it was. I felt in my spirit that it may have been the removal of a yeast infection. I haven’t been to the doctor in a while, but the last time I went the doctor told me that I was a bit “yeasty”. All I know is after this came out of me, I jumped back in my car and said, “Ok God! What’s next?” I was so freaked out about what happened that I called a friend of mine and was telling her the testimony. She was telling me that she had been praying for me for years that God would send me a godly man and that it was His promise to me. At this point, the sun was going down and I was in New York. As she said that it was God’s promise to give me a godly man who would love me, I looked up and there was the most beautiful rainbow I had ever seen. I have never seen a rainbow at nightfall. I looked it up and they are actually called moon bows and are quite rare. Not only are they rare, but they are often quite pale and hard to really see. This rainbow was brilliant and beautiful! When I saw it I exclaimed to my friend what I was seeing and she began to say, “Wanda, it’s God’s promise!” I cannot thank you enough for your teaching on the soul! It is the connection that I needed to walk in freedom in not only this area, but other areas of my life.

The 2nd testimony happened just last week. I have been eating ice like crazy for over a year now. I just could not stop. Although I would only eat it at work, it began to cause me great concern. Doctors say that this is a sign of low iron or a B12 deficiency. I have suffered with both. I tried to stop so many times, but I couldn’t. I would actually go to the ice machine at work and fill up 3-4 coffee cup sized cups and refill them though-out the day. I would eat about 6-8 cups at lunch time and sometimes I would even skip lunch and just eat ice. I have been doing this for so long that it just became second nature. I could NOT stop! I suffered with pain in my mouth and I was getting concerned about the effects of eating the ice, but it was like a compulsion. I asked the Lord for help. Well, I was listening to the CD series Living Free last week and I went through the process of repenting for bitterness. There have been some things going on here at work and generally I am a person who keeps a good attitude and I kind of keep to myself. I don’t get into a bunch of stuff. Because of the strife that has been going on here and some ongoing issues with the teams, I was letting things get to me. Besides that, there was the Atlanta traffic. I was bitter and I didn’t even realize it. Well, I repented – applied the blood and the dunamis. I did this in my car on the way to work. When I got to work, as always, I went into the kitchen and loaded up my 3 coffee cups of ice. It was just the right texture and consistency that I love. It was perfect and I knew it was going to be a great day! I sat down to eat it and it tasted terrible. I mean nauseatingly terrible. The only way that I can describe is that it tasted salty – like someone had taken sea salt and poured it into the water. It was so nasty that I took it to the kitchen and dumped it out and filled up 3 more cups thinking it was just a bad batch. The same thing! Yuck! It was awful! I sent an email to the tech who checks our ice machines here and told him there was something wrong with the machine. (Hey! I needed my ice fix!) In the interim, I went down to another floor and grabbed 3 cups from that ice machine. Same taste. It was the worst thing I had ever tasted. Not only that, I had no real desire to eat it. I threw it out! I shared this with a co-worker and she mentioned that she had just had a cup of ice and there was nothing wrong with it! Praise God! That was last Thursday. I tried it again this morning and it still tastes like salt to me! I have not eaten ice since! God healed me of whatever deficiency that was going on in my body. I have NO desire to eat ice at all. This is a miracle, because I could not make it through the day without eating ice. Hallelujah! I am healed and free. I know that there is more for God to do in my soul, but I am so thankful that I found this teaching and that God is so faithful! It’s a journey and I am going to continue to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any hidden wounds that are in my soul. Thank you. -W. K.

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