Do you struggle with operating in joy?

Operating in Joy
by Katie Souza
(Taken from Katie’s Journal written in Prison 2001)

“Blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.”  Matthew 13:16 (NIV)

Tonight, I read and meditated on Agnes Sanford’s book, “The Healing Light”.  Then I dreamed about flying!  From one side I could jump off and fly, then land and bounce back up while doing somersaults and flips.  If I straightened out, I could build up speed.  But, from the other side, I felt that if I jumped, I would fall, not fly.  I helped my friend, Kim, fly from one side. I asked her if she wanted to try it on her own, but she was hesitant.  Lord, why couldn’t I fly off the other side?

We sang, “Grace and Mercy” at service. The buffer is now broken at work. I walked 3 miles, and got the tapes from mom.  We practiced, “Closer to the Heart of God”.  Got into a fight.  Asked for forgiveness.  I’m praying for gallbladder healing.

Mom is in the hospital. I found out she is having surgery. Her hip dissolved from infection.  Praying that the Lord kills the infection.

 “I know that you can do anything.  No one can keep you from doing what you plan to do.”  Job 42:2 (NIRV)

At work, I mopped the floors with hot soap and water.  I called Aunt Pat; mom will be down for three months.

At prayer group and choir practice all hell broke loose; it was bad. I was told that, “I’m having a spiritual rebirthing and mom and dad are being spiritually renewed.”

Prison Fellowship had a ministry seminar that was excellent – Holy Spirit was there.  It reminds me of Agnes Sanford’s book.  E Stanley Jones said, “All life is of a piece. There are no dualisms, no compartmentalism.   Life is one, and the laws of one source – God.  The laws that govern our physical life are not other than the laws of God.  They are laws of God written into flesh and blood and nerve and tissue.”

I got letters from Candy and Teresa. I continue to pray for mom.  At work today, still no buffer, so I borrowed a buffer.

“I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”  Ephesians 1:18-19 (NIV)

Today, I received a rough draft of my appeal. Praying that the Lord would show me what doesn’t belong there and needs to be edited, and also what needs to be added.

The enemy is trying to divide all of us over the “tongues” issue. So, we decided to back off as not to cause any to stumble! I feel a stronghold has been set up in me, causing my UTI.  It has power because of the disbelief of the resurrection. If Christ is still on the cross or in the grave, Satan is not defeated. Ruby got a word about my UTI, she said it was blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. She didn’t know but I had done that as a child. (Age of accountability)?

I worked, walked, then went to 12:30 PM prayer.  I went to Ray Esther, then to the second half of the Prison Fellowship seminar.  It was the bomb!

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 ESV

I wrote a card to mom that was about mushroom hunting and the bonanza we found. Went to prayer meeting, then worked, then to Spanish church. The lesson was about law and the church. It taught us to say “no” to ungodliness and passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope-the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. (From Titus 2:12-13)

I called mom, she was screaming in pain. Lord Jesus, help!  So, I went to the track and told the board I wasn’t going to get up until I got an answer. Just then, “I am Blessed” came on the radio, and I heard loud and clear from the Lord, “You are blessed”! Well, I knew it was the Lord, because I don’t feel blessed.  I wept and said, “Lord, where’s the joy?” Then I visualized myself beating the heck out of Satan, all the while, rebuking him out loud, over and over again. When he was down, I put my foot on his neck, like Joshua did the Kings. I felt better.

Have you ever been in so much stress over someone you love being in agonizing pain, that you demanded a word from the Lord?

Did you receive it?

Where is your joy? Try counting the ways that you are blessed and visualizing beating the enemy up as you are doing it. See if it helps you like it helped me that day! Share with us what you see when you picture it, below!

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  • Ashley

    The original post today sharing Lalenunat‘s story was a glorious ‘mistaken post’ that sustained me this morning. My joy has been elusive since I found my husband, who sits front row every week at church, in bed with his high school girlfriend. Our two beautiful boys, 14 years, and a covenant warranted a fight. I contended for repentance and restoration at transformative levels for each of us. 11/9 the first time in his life he went up for individual prayer. 11/10 he said he woke with absolute clarity and is done (with me). Thanksgiving morning he introduced our son to his “girlfriend” and said he’s never coming home. I’m not posting for sympathy or pity. I’m sharing this because today when I was looking to glimpse joy in the midst of the crushing, Lalenunat‘s post was a connecting point my heart deeply needed. A sister who could understand the depth of grief while still choosing to love tremendously even in loss, to soar in thermals of revelatory truth. Thank you…

  • Angele Enanga

    that’s a very touching experience. I really like how you visualised defeating the enemy. The bible tells us that in all things we are more than conqueror through Him that loved us. So we ought to live believing that. Personally, I was really stressed because my parents were experiencing marital problems. But I took in upon myself to dwell on the word and visualise defeating the enemy during that difficult situation. Behold, that is in the past now. Thank you for sharing your experiences and let us continue believing in Him that loves us.

  • Keith jones

    When you can handle it you will hear God or maybe he will show you the answer to a life long question by showing you a video in your mind while your wife awake🤔🤔🤔😀