The Debt We Can Never Repay

Lesson 17

Many of you know about my past; that years ago I was out on the streets wreaking havoc. But even in my mess, Holy Spirit pursued me and drew me.

New Mexico 1998 – I had been driving around for almost 24 hours desperately looking for a place to cook my dope. It was Christmas, it was cold, and I had no place to go. Finally, a woman told me to come out to her place because she had an old single-wide trailer I could use. Her place just happened to be set up in the barn of an abandoned insane asylum! Talk about creepy… There was a devil with horns depicted on the gate as you entered the property. Later, we even found abandoned records that told gruesome tales of the things that were done to patients that were unfortunate enough to have been housed there!

So, I went to work to get the trailer cleaned up so I could cook my next batch of dope. As my small batch of meth crystalized, I thought it looked clean and icy just like snow. I found an abandoned string of Christmas lights so I hung them up on the windows and I threw a clean blanket on the old couch. Then, I laid down to rest and watched those lights twinkle. They brought back all the wonderful holidays I had experienced when I was growing up in Illinois, before I moved to Hawaii with my dad and things began to go south for me. Even in the horrible state I was in, I sensed a sweet presence surrounding me. Little did I know that in just over a month, I would be arrested by the Federal Marshals and God would change my world forever.

Perhaps you are in a dark place this year. You might be struggling with addiction, going through a divorce, or missing your kid that is out on the streets like I was. Whatever you are going through, Holy Spirit is going through it with you. He is calling your name, pursuing you, and drawing you to Himself. No matter how dark you feel your current existence is, He wants to heal you and your family deep in your souls just as He has healed me. He is no respecter of persons; He loves you the same as He loves me.

At this time of year, I always thank God for sending his only Son, Jesus Christ, as a fully human, helpless infant. I am in awe of the price Jesus paid to bring me back into right relationship with God, the Father. Every twinkling Christmas light reminds me of the debt I will never be able to repay.

When I think of how my Christmas will be this year with my hubby, the puppies, friends, and family gathered around my beautiful Christmas tree, eating wonderful organic turkey and fixings, I know how good God has been to me and how truly blessed I am! I want that same thing for all of you. So, don’t be afraid to reach out and trust God with your future. Give Him control of your soul, your addiction, your spouse, and your children. He won’t let you down…I promise!

Have a wonderfully blessed Christmas!

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